You probably woke up screaming right? I NEVER SCREAMED.
You probably ran to your parents’ room and hid close to them and their warmth? I DIDN’T RUN BECAUSE OF FEAR,MATTER OF FACT I WALKED.
You were probably prayed for right? NEVER HAVE
You were probably put in immediate therapy right? DIDN’T EVEN LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I HAD IT.
What else did you do? I EMBRACED IT.
Let me tell you about mine.
I’m 26 and i still have sleep paralysis and demented dreams. i call them dreams because they come on each and every night. nightmares must be something similar i guess i don’t know.
I sometimes dream about hell well a lot of times. i’m used to it. The feeling of paralysis is always the same you are stuck at the exact same spot in bed the sleep paralysis caught you in, you can’t breathe, you can’t move, you can’t shift your eyes around, you can’t think of anything, you can’t make a sound until it’s passed over,for me its like that.
When i was young i used to dream about huge, very dark, red eyed, long curvy horned sheep yeah sheep as in singular, and it was always chasing me through a very dark forest i would run until i couldn’t anymore, and when i couldn’t the sheep would come around and torture me while tickling me,yes i said tickling dammit. and then i would black out inside my own dream and in that dark black out i would see very red slit like, no pupil or iris or whatever eyes, no body, but i see things even in the dark (i’ll probably write about that ), just flaming and they would just watch me.
First time i felt all that i woke up at night, stark midnight, bedroom lights are off, i knew my moms’ room by heart and i would walk blindfolded and not miss a step, so i woke up and as i walk the red eyes come on again, i don’t think i was scared,no,because i kept walking to my moms’ bedroom and got in her bed and curled up so small next to her stomach and felt her warmth, it was comforting but the problem is i couldn’t sleep i was reliving the same dream even with my eyes open, it was quite tiring i tell you.
I mentioned red eyes right, well they have been around for so many years and there’s nothing they did, they didn’t harm me or whatever so i put my trust in them, they came around the same time i felt the emotion of melancholy, the red eyes are my comfort, even when i get migranes, anxiety attacks and claustrophobic i close my eyes and call upon those red eyes, and i never want them to leave, they are one of my comfort mechanism.
I never told anyone of this, i don’t think they would believe me even. so no therapy on it, no prayers no measures taken whatsoever, i learned to embrace that about myself , they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Not once do i remember me being scared of my sleep paralysis.
I also dream about my death.
It doesn’t scare me really, i’ve had two types if i can remember quickly before it disappears, one instance someone before me was stabbed by a sword then to be beheaded later. Damn it i forgot the second one but it will come to me. but it felt quick and painless, no silly things like last words no, it was all blissful, peaceful, comforting.
The other day i experienced intense chest pains, stubby feeling i couldn’t breathe and i got worried like i don’t want some illness to kill me no i’ll be doing that by myself thank you very much.
I despise slow painful deaths, no that isn’t me i’ll go quick and painless, so no drowning takes too much effort with the struggling and finally acceptance and time, no pill overdose because it’ll just be pumped out and i hate hospitals dammit i really do, getting hit by anything nop not trying to be in pain for ages on end recuperating and what not, if i was struck by lightning i’ll probably be a surviving zombie, or genius beyond compare or real life flash i know i live in fantasy world too much etc etc.
jbeauty93 